Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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