did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
