apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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