Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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