she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
