I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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