Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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