You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
