Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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