Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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