Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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