You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
