No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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