which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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