that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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