We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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