he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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