Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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