I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
