the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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