im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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