Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize