I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
