No stitches, just platelets and will power
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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