Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My underwear smells like fireworks.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want nice things and good sex
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
