You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
