I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
