i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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