Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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