i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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