I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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