Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
