Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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