i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
