This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
