but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
