I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
