I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I seem to have left my pride at pride
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
