whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
