Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
