Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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