i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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