called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize