Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
