I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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