My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize