Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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