we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
