I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
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You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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