So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm like, not good at living.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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