as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
