note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
