Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
