i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
