I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize