You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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