I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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