I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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