His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
