Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
PANTIES FOUND
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