that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
